Alone and employed once upon a time. Plenty of windows enveloped the pre- noon sunlight. Broken plates and dried kebobs. A kitchen, a market, and a couple Mexicans. Skewers of bad -tips and vacant seating arrangements. Ideas of large parties never set or put together. A persian man who once resided in France with a bad temper. And I, once a young man full of passion, talent, and mystery.,, on the desolate narrow pathway to resignation, turning down all the wrong paths in the life. (I was never faced with a fork in the road, it was always a dulled plastic knife), My gathered time of misfortune and disposition had me cornered during this era. The minutes had to be broken down into seconds, the seconds had to be broken down into an unattrative ball of overwhelming faces and emotions. Do I smile?, do I laugh?, do I walk slower?, am I moving too fast? Do I dare to speak when not spoken to, and so on....
The College kids had it all, this idea occured to me as a young boy growing up in mid-western America. The spoiled university youths waking up at noon on Saturdays with frazzled hair and Reservoir Dogs T- shirts. Listening to Peter Gabriel's Us at their own leisure. Awww, Perhaps I am being a bit too firm and rash, these weren't bad kids, after all this is the Mid-West were talking about, oh yeah,. Getting back to the point that , I was envious oh yeah. So the college kids had it all, getting sick on the Jungle juice, having intercourse (or attempting to at least), I only know from my own experiences. I attended one of these fraternity parties at the ripe primitive age of sixteen, I think. Started off the evening well, getting good and drunk, making little or no effort to keep this twenty-four year old moderately somewhat good-looking when your intoxicated african- american womans hands off me. As the night unfolded, I let her drive me back to her apartment. It turned into a magnificent series of educational incidents involving hand-cuffs and pre- mature evacuation,(haha), Then the little boy in me came out as I begged her to drive me home, (she insisted I was frightened because she was so much older, this couldn't of been any further from the truth).
Ignorance is bliss with no twists, no wrong turns or indecision. These naive well dressed natives seem to be attracted to each others closed off ways and demeanor. Just keeping their nose clean and thoughts on what's in front of them. Kids too, having kids is a good way to become selfless. I just had quite a revelation how selfish I have become in my middle-aged to elderly years, similar to The Rock Of Gibralter, I 've become morally crass, and my sad countenance has become edged in stone. ( oh such a drama queen) I apologize for taking myself too seriously.
I do resemble Romeo at heart. I am still a young man intentionally placing his fingertips upon the surface of the hot stove over and over again seeking that unbearable pain to fill the void that sinks deeper in my chest where there once lived fire and passion. And when the suffering becomes too much, just hold on loosely to that wheel of Karma (but don't let go), for that old wheel will roll around once more. I still love u
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