You're a sexy librarian with a handsome complexion, dark features, I'm at deaths remote doorway again. Are you still smoking filter-less cigarettes?. Years ago I drank myself into a bottomless frenzy. Circumstantial reverence. Sure, I still daydream of you from time to time, about your shadow waltzing down narrow corridors, of darkened architecture. Somewhat tall you are right?, or weren't you? Eyes of brilliant blue that compliment your feminine demeanor. I marvel along your predominant stature. I shall allude to the magnificence of your pale milky thighs wrapped around my vulnerable bird-like throat.
Truth is, what I'm trying to do is nothing new. It's all been done before. I'm like an old stale pack of margarine that's been left out in the sweltering heat too long. Still Rainy on Tuesdays are you?, it's when I'd find you sleeping on your elderly Great Aunt's residential crimson sofa. She, a poor depraved woman who doesn't believe in window air conditioning units. Maybe she does but she is just a cheap miserable inexpensive Jew. Who knows? To this day I still marvel at your Hungarian Jawline, it is marvelous and something to be admired. I like a nice tall girl also. That is why I prefer you with Towering stiletto heels. I won't be that straight forward about what I want you to do to me. Do you still run an illegal phone sex ring on the outskirts of the Pocono's? It's none of my business I know. You don't have to tell me.
Hopefully by the time you get this letter I'll be on my way to your domestic quarters, running perpendicular to the vast heaving Appalachians. I'm taking my stepfather's jeep, well you know, it's not that much of a gas guzzler, not like that '86 Buick he still claims he's gonna fix up someday. The poor old bastard. He's not a bad guy though. Not like your mother the whore. Just kidding, don't get all riled up now. This Summer should be just like the old ones, If i presume correctly. We'll take your thirteen year old long-haired chihuahua "Belvedere" and throw him overboard from your great aunts canoe. Then as always, you'll win the contest (being the better swimmer) by rescuing him, and I'll have to slam down fifteen mind-erasers in one minute. After consuming all those disgusting Liqueurs you'll take me up to the guest bedroom, strip me down naked, throw on your Winnie-the-Pooh outfit, then ram me from behind with a twelve inch black dildo. You know you're the only one that I'd let do this to me, you bad bad naughty girl you.
But you know one thing I failed to mention, was how much I missed you the past few years. How are things going at the library?. Do you still see Geno and Dave sometimes down by the uptown warehouses? How did you leave things with Maurice?, Did he ever end up taking those nighttime courses that you wanted him to take? I guess we'll have time to catch up on all this stuff.
P.S. You better have something for me when I come up there, and I'm not talking about cousin Bobby's wardrobe that you inherited after the accident. I'm talking about my $$$$. You owed me that bread for a long time now. I don't want to have to go busting kneecaps now? You wouldn't want that would you? Well let's just keep our fingers crossed maybe we'll be able to work something out. It's only 6 grand. Maybe I can have you pay it all back in installments. How did you ever pay me back the last time? Did you really Fuck all those guys? Hold on a minute don't answer that question. Or at least not just yet. I will smell you later on.
Your friend
Pierre Von Strauss
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