Fiction: Shadows in the dark

                                           Down and out for some time,... a dirty one bedroom apartment in Germantown . My dismal existence revolved around cheap beer and stale nights. Moments elapsed yet remained,...similar,...to the pungent indigestion,.of the gasping morning air. Somewhere in between brief intervals of time,..I'd find myself pondering by an open window,... looking out to the open courtyard. Three flights up I perished,..with knowledge of nothing else,..beside the frigid temperatures that  burnt a foreign fever into my tortured equilibrium.
                                          She made her aura present to me at a bar one night. The regular music manifesting itself among the dizzy locals,....pouring their hearts and their hard earned money into the endless fountain of oblivion. Dreams came to an abrupt halt at the creaking of a  swinging door in the hallway,...,.. the melancholy hope of a new arrival. The one who's gonna change your life,..then leave you dry,..... Where you came from,...the desolate solitary truth of daily struggles.
                                          She sat alone on a bar stool by one of the damp circular tables. She smiled a lot,..below her tranquil visibility,...frustration streaming through my sub-conscious. One too many weeks of displeasure had me down on my luck. I approached her with my slurred speech and work clothes. I wore a standard black waiter  outfit ,...  pleated dress pants,..button up shirt,...dress shoes. My hypersensitive vulnerabilities sized up her graceful demeanor. She had me at goodbye that night. Another fish in the river that made its way far down stream,...hours before the pale arrival of morning.
                                         Destiny would not let me be,...it held me in its firm preoccupied hold. The idea of love cramped my overall being until,.....there was everything in the world left for me to do. Halloween a couple years ago. The stars hung low in a brightened night sky. The constellations were in bloom,..and so was I. Something had to happen in the fluorescent lighting of the inside development. Behind walls masked with classic rock album cuts ,....I searched for the perfect combination of lust and feeling. I found it temporarily,..among the rocky cliffs of misfortune and disease. I had what I always wanted,..and I tore it down,..with the reckless destructive manner of my past. Lives were already lived among the aggravated fires of indecision. You can see the smoke through translated binoculars,..from the foreign shores of disbelief.
                                        To each others dismay,...we became bound together through the common need of familiarity. It was the way things were,..and going to be. Bloody Marys at the afternoon diner,..and evenings of blurred communication. The cycle lacked a solid foundation of time and stability. I found myself a mile from home,...alone and unemployed.  The answer to my behavior required a question,..and I had nobody to ask.